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post #1 of 4 Old 02-06-2015, 01:28 PM Thread Starter
4th Gear
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Chilliwack, BC, Canada
Posts: 1,481
South Carolina Troopers

Southern cops have a way with words....

These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:


1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
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2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
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3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (My Favorite)
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4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
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5. "Can you run faster than1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)
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6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
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7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
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8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
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9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
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10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
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11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
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12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." (National Crime Information Center)
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13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
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14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
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15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
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AND THE WINNER IS....
16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
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post #2 of 4 Old 02-06-2015, 09:43 PM
OverDrive
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Lander, Wyoming
Posts: 5,344
1200 feet per second! I liked it.

Normk, you spend Way Too Much Time on the net. Gon'na haft'a put some limits on your access! Or give ya' more STUFF to DO!

pdwestman
Modify at "YOUR OWN RISK"!

Still riding my 1987 KL650-A1. 84,000+ miles & counting
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post #3 of 4 Old 02-06-2015, 11:51 PM Thread Starter
4th Gear
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Chilliwack, BC, Canada
Posts: 1,481
What you young guys don't understand about retirement is that it's not about having enough to do. It's about being too inefficient to complete the things on the list. That way you're always behind and need to rest to get ready to start.



Quote:
Originally Posted by pdwestman View Post
1200 feet per second! I liked it.

Normk, you spend Way Too Much Time on the net. Gon'na haft'a put some limits on your access! Or give ya' more STUFF to DO!
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post #4 of 4 Old 02-07-2015, 10:44 AM
Pretty in Pink, dunno why
 
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Redondo Beach
Posts: 7,453
Garage
That's a very good description of "The Speed of Tom", Norm.

Tom

Tom [email protected]

“Neither of the two people in the room paid any attention to the way I came in, although only one of them was dead.” -Philip Marlowe

“'Why' and 'How' are words so important they cannot be too often used.” -Napoleon Bonaparte


Sting like a butterfly.
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