Regarding SLO/Darin's death... - Kawasaki KLR 650 Forum
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post #1 of 15 Old 05-10-2012, 04:35 PM Thread Starter
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Regarding SLO/Darin's death...

I spoke with another founding member of the PPMC earlier. I am just throwing this out there. You may disagree with me and I may be wrong, but I don't think so.

My first reaction when learning about this was to rally up the boys and ride down to SLO this weekend. Then I thought, jesus, that's all the family needs is a bunch of guys on KLR's rolling up when Darin just died on his goddamn bike. Then I thought, well, I'll just drive down for the funeral. I met Darin's family once when we went down for an epic ride and camped in his backyard. His kids are wonderful as is his wife, but we spent maybe four hours total hanging out with them. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like going down there would be selfish, something to make myself feel better. The way I figure it, right now, she doesn't want to be talking to a bunch of hooligans she associates only with MC's.

I asked my wife how she would feel - I'm pretty torn up and we've been talking a lot about this. I have a three year old and my wife is 4 months pregnant. Right now the idea of getting on my bike twists my stomach. And she told me that she would want to be around family and close friends only - not my biking brothers.

I know, since we all ride, that your first reaction is probably like mine was. Shit, lets roll 50 KLRs down there for Darin. But that would be salt in the wound for the people still living. In my opinion.

Darin was my brother. He was a hell of a rider and mechanic and just an all around great guy. I get choked up even typing this. But I think my presence in SLO in the immediate future would do more harm than good. I know at least one of my brother agrees with me. And I'm just throwing it out there. You do what your heart tells you to do. I'm gonna donate some money and think about the things I loved about Darin. And in a few months, I'm going to go down there and give my condolences, give his wife a big hug and tell her how much I thought of her husband, kick a ball around with his kids. And I'm going to try to keep doing that because that is part of what the PPMC is all about. But for right now, *I* think it would make things worse to insert myself into the intense grief they are experiencing when I am essentially a stranger to the family.

Just my .02. Everybody needs to do what they think is right. That's the way I feel.




"In a car you're always in a compartment, and because you're used to it you don't realize that through that car window everything you see is just more TV." R. Pirsig

PPMC #1.
Soon, we ride.

AKA JD Mader or you can call me "Dan" just not early for dinner.

Click my handle for a link to my homepage/blog...which has nothing to do with MCs. Free literature and music! Viva La Revolucion!
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2008 KLR 650
RIP DM - Soon, we ride.

Last edited by Lockjaw; 05-10-2012 at 04:38 PM.
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post #2 of 15 Old 05-10-2012, 04:50 PM
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Lockjaw, I think that is the most unselfish thing I have read in a long time. I didn't know SLO, but he must have been quite a fella. I believe we have a day in the calendar that allows us time from work to remember our fallen soldiers that many use to honor fallen friends. Perhaps a memorial ride sometime down the road would be just as honoring. God bless you and your family.

Thanks


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...."The things which are impossible with men are possible with God" Luke 18:27

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post #3 of 15 Old 05-10-2012, 06:00 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks bud. Our club will wear a memorial patch and I can guarantee there won't be a ride we go on that Darin won't be in our thoughts.




"In a car you're always in a compartment, and because you're used to it you don't realize that through that car window everything you see is just more TV." R. Pirsig

PPMC #1.
Soon, we ride.

AKA JD Mader or you can call me "Dan" just not early for dinner.

Click my handle for a link to my homepage/blog...which has nothing to do with MCs. Free literature and music! Viva La Revolucion!
-------------------
2008 KLR 650
RIP DM - Soon, we ride.
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post #4 of 15 Old 05-10-2012, 06:53 PM
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I'd think about riding to the graveside service. Even if you don't engage the family, it's always reassuring to know that your father/brother/son/husband had friends that cared enough to show-up. If you're uneasy, I'd call a family member or the funeral director first.

One of my guys died in 2001 and we still go to his graveside and smoke a cigar every year. His wife alway writes afterward to tell me that she was glad we were there (as evidenced by new flags and cigar butts).

Just one opinion
Mark

Mark
"My KLR belongs to God, when he wants it clean he washes it."
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post #5 of 15 Old 05-10-2012, 08:19 PM
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I ran this scenario by my wife as well. She said she would feel honored by the display of fellow riders. She is a police officer so I can see how she would view the situation. I agree with PH also. Perhaps a call would help the decision also.


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...."The things which are impossible with men are possible with God" Luke 18:27

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post #6 of 15 Old 05-10-2012, 11:53 PM
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I agree with PHBiker. Though I do think that you are being very considerate lockjaw.
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post #7 of 15 Old 05-11-2012, 01:08 AM
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I agree with you that riding a bunch of bikes down there might not be well recepted, especially given the circumstaces of his death.
I do believe however, that a group of us going to the funeral/wake in appropriate attair and paying our respects to him and the surviving family would be in good taste and the proper thing to do.


When Gianni passed last year, I had every photo I had of him printed and a few of them blown up and framed and gave them to his family. I felt that it was nicer than giving flowers or cards and would give them somethin to remebmer their fallen loved one with through the eyes of others that appreciated him.

Please pm me the info on arrangments and address to send condolences...
Thought of him for most of the day today.......

Tractorking
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Redwood City, California

“Although motorcycle riding is romantic, motorcycle maintenance is purely classic.”
Robert M. Pirsig
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post #8 of 15 Old 05-11-2012, 01:11 AM
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And yes! I think a yearly memorial ride or camping trip is absolutly in order!

Tractorking
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“Although motorcycle riding is romantic, motorcycle maintenance is purely classic.”
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post #9 of 15 Old 05-11-2012, 01:58 AM
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Consideration for the wishes and sensitivites of the bereaved family remains key.

"Party Boss," host of annyal ADV gatherings, recently died similarly; his family requested no motorcycle presence at his memorial service, either in the parking lot or the funeral procession.

You might check with the funeral director at the funeral home for any information on the subject of motorcycle presence.
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post #10 of 15 Old 05-11-2012, 02:45 AM
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This is from Tazman at KLRWorld.com:

"All -

This is an open invite from Sydney (Darin's Wife), she has asked that this information is posted. Darin's Memorial Service is this Tuesday and she wants you to know that anyone is invited to attend, she looks forward to meeting "motorcycle buddies". I will be there to honor a friend :BH I wish it wasn't this way.


Details:
May 15, 2012 - 11am start
Christian Life Center
17th and Oak Street
Paso Robles, CA.

After the church will be a 21 gun salute at the grave site."

T

Tom [email protected]

“Neither of the two people in the room paid any attention to the way I came in, although only one of them was dead.” -Philip Marlowe

“'Why' and 'How' are words so important they cannot be too often used.” -Napoleon Bonaparte


Sting like a butterfly.

Last edited by Tom Schmitz; 05-11-2012 at 02:50 AM.
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