Success! After only one more e-mail I now have an account with Polaris.
Fine and dandy, me and the lappy
are off to the store.
A basic oil test is $24.29 and seems fairly comparable and competitive with what I am used to, so that's what I ordered.
Upon checkout, I find that the shipping from Indianapolis, IN is $31.85. That is the least expensive option.
That dog won't hunt. Ain't even a nice dog. Wretched, mean, spiteful, straight-razor totin' dog. Sorta like Polk Salad Annie's mom.
Now, being a stubborn cuss, I can't just give up yet. There is one more option, and that is to try and go with JG Lubricant Services. This is one of their retail partners and seems to be for the common man, a partner I conveniently overlooked in my zest for mirth, satire, and a general rant.
The basic kit is $23.49 and shipping is $14.97. Let's call it $38.50 all-in.
Blackstone Labs is $28, all-in.
I'm going to do this, once, just once, so we can have a side-by-side of the same oil, same sample, two different labs. This fulfills my obligation to provide amusement and useless knowledge for the first quarter of 2020.