Deciphering a Classified Ad - Kawasaki KLR 650 Forum
Marketplace & Classifieds Have items for sale relating to the KLR 650?

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post #1 of 12 Old 11-14-2016, 05:54 PM Thread Starter
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Deciphering a Classified Ad

Deciphering a Classified Ad

What the ad says ----- What it really means

Asking $16,000, make offer ----- Someone please give me $10,000

$11,500 firm ----- Someone please give me $10,000

$8,000 firm, no low-ball offers ----- Short of selling a kidney, I have no means of paying off the $7,500 balance on the loan on this $5,000 bike

OBO ----- Just give me two thirds of what I'm asking, please God

Ran when I parked it, needs carb work ----- The 10-year-old gasoline in there has turned to mica

Needs battery ----- I don't have $100 for a new battery, and even if I did, putting in a new battery would only reveal that it won't start

Turns over, good compression ----- At least the damn thing hasn't seized and I'm gambling you won't show up with a compression gauge

Must go this weekend ----- I'm six months late on the rent and the eviction proceedings are starting to get serious

No low ballers ----- The payoff on the loan is way more than it's worth so I have to get an inflated price

Wife says it has to go ----- I haven't ridden it in five years, but I'm the kind of person who feels better blaming someone else

No time to ride ----- I drive my car every day because it has air conditioning and I'm lazy

Over $5,000 in extras ----- I wasted a lot of money on farkles nobody wants

Extended swingarm, lowered ----- Clutch is fried from playing Rickey Dragracer at every light and the bike now handles like a garbage truck

Aftermarket exhaust, sounds great ----- Obnoxiously loud, guaranteed to tick off your neighbours

Stock exhaust but I removed the baffles, sounds great ----- Obnoxiously loud would be an improvement; also, runs poorly

Custom paint ----- Been crashed

Fresh paint ----- Been crashed

New plastics ----- Been crashed

Lots of new parts ----- Been crashed

Cosmetic flaws typical for its age ----- Been crashed

Converted to a streetfighter ----- Been crashed

Salvage title ----- Been crashed really bad

Barn fresh ----- Mice ate holes in the air filter

Barn find ----- Damn, I forgot this junk was still out here

Classic style ----- Looks dated

Instant classic ----- It's old

Collectible ----- I know, because it's been collecting dust in my garage for 15 years while I've been hoping it would go up in value

Good beginner bike ----- Underpowered

Good first bike ----- My only hope of unloading this junk is finding an uninformed and gullible buyer

Mechanic's special ----- Too many problems to list

Needs a little TLC ----- You probably won't make it home from the sale without breaking down

Sold "as is" ----- If you make it out of my driveway on this thing, I don't ever want to see you or hear from you again for any reason


My Kaw Barn - 2004 KLR, 2006 Concours (sold), 1997 Bayou 400.

"It's a friggen motorcycle, it's not supposed to be comfortable, quiet or safe. The wind noise is supposed to hurt your ears, the seat should be hard and riding it should make you shit your pants every now and then. "

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post #2 of 12 Old 11-14-2016, 06:47 PM
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Just brilliant. That was awesome!!!
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post #3 of 12 Old 11-17-2016, 06:43 PM
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LOL...what a great read.
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post #4 of 12 Old 01-28-2017, 09:01 AM
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That made me LOL!! Good stuff!
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post #5 of 12 Old 01-28-2017, 09:06 AM
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Better act now, you don't see stuff like that growing on trees.
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post #6 of 12 Old 02-11-2017, 08:16 PM
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Ha ha! That's great krl4evr!
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post #7 of 12 Old 02-12-2017, 07:54 AM
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Excellent list with lots of truth there.
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post #8 of 12 Old 03-03-2017, 08:57 PM
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post #9 of 12 Old 05-29-2017, 07:24 AM
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This is great! Happy Memorial Day everyone out there, ride safe.
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post #10 of 12 Old 05-29-2017, 02:01 PM
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I'd add to this excellent list:

Average Running Condition ----- Will Not Start

Runs Good ----- Owner Flunked English Grammar

Low Miles ----- Terminal Mileage for this One

Owned by Mechanic ----- If He Doesn't Want It . . . .

Just Tuned ----- Serious Mechanical Failure in Progress (discovered when the Tune-Up didn't fix it)

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