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Loaning away a friendship?
I'm posting this more as a rant, but I really respect the opinions on this forum vs some in the "basement" of others.
Huge edit here-----)()()()()()()()()()()()(
After cooling off a bit and taking Planalp's advice, and reviewing my works social media policy this week (government job) for another subject, I've decided to let it go.
I'll get it back when I get it back. I'll remember certain things when asked again, and deal with it in a respectful way. I've been feeling that I'm getting too old to get worked up over little crap like this.
Also learned of another situation that really put things in perspective. It's a freaking trailer.
Thanks to those that replied. I learned some more from this place.
Huge edit here-----)()()()()()()()()()()()(
After cooling off a bit and taking Planalp's advice, and reviewing my works social media policy this week (government job) for another subject, I've decided to let it go.
I'll get it back when I get it back. I'll remember certain things when asked again, and deal with it in a respectful way. I've been feeling that I'm getting too old to get worked up over little crap like this.
Also learned of another situation that really put things in perspective. It's a freaking trailer.
Thanks to those that replied. I learned some more from this place.
Confidence is the feeling you have before you fully understand the situation."
Jeff in Napa California
Last edited by campfire; 11-30-2014 at 07:00 PM. Reason: age & wisdom
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If I needed the trailer next weekend and this weekend was the only time I had to finish the work on it, I'd ask for it back.
If there isn't a pressing need for it I'd tell him to clean it up and get it back to me as soon as he can after the next cook-a-thon.
I probably wouldn't loan it out again, though.
Tom
If there isn't a pressing need for it I'd tell him to clean it up and get it back to me as soon as he can after the next cook-a-thon.
I probably wouldn't loan it out again, though.
Tom
Tom [email protected]
“Some days I feel like playing it smooth. Some days I feel like playing it like a waffle iron.” -Philip Marlowe
“'Why' and 'How' are words so important they cannot be too often used.” -Napoleon Bonaparte

Sting like a butterfly.
Noli Timere Messorem
Get a bumper sticker and read it daily: "The more people I meet, the more I like my Dog."
“Take the risk of thinking for yourself , much more happiness , truth, beauty, and wisdom will come to you that way.” Hitchens
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OverDrive

Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: NW MO
Posts: 5,367
Not to be flippant, but these are truly the only 5 words in your entire narrative that carry any true weight as to the circumstances and your decision.
If The Wives become involved, your dilemma could turn from a relatively minor matter into a Hellish Nightmare that will make you wish you'd never bought that trailer in the first place.
Trailers are a magnet for borrowers because if you have one, everybody thinks, "There's no reason for me to buy one when I can use his. He doesn't use it all the time. It's just sitting there."
I would let it go, chalk it up to experience and not loan it to him again, even if you have to come up with some kind of bullshit excuse but you have plenty of time to sit around and think of one.
I would be prepared to replace the plywood on the rear ramp. Once that poultry juice soaks into it, even a pressure washer wont' get it out. Once that thing sits closed up in the heat, the stench will return with a vengeance.
In the Grand Scheme Of Things, if he's been a standout guy since you've known him and this is his only intrusion on your sensibilities (although I do consider it quite rude) it's simply not worth stirring up shit over.
Like I always philosophize, "I doubt it's something I'll reflect upon when I'm lying on my Death Bed."
Not excusing his behavior, but he was hauling grills to cook turkeys at a church for Those Less Fortunate, not hauling kegs of beer to some party full of underage drinkers. That's gotta count for something......
Oh, and if I didn't say it before, don't loan it to him again. U-Haul has every reasonable rates on local trailer rentals.
I will say, though, I do understand your frustration. I've loaned movies to friends who were laid up after surgery and never gotten those movies back, given a lot of food to people who never bothered to return the dishes it was cooked in even though they obviously came straight from our kitchen, etc.
I just let it go and remind myself, "Well, at least I'm not like they are."
If The Wives become involved, your dilemma could turn from a relatively minor matter into a Hellish Nightmare that will make you wish you'd never bought that trailer in the first place.
Trailers are a magnet for borrowers because if you have one, everybody thinks, "There's no reason for me to buy one when I can use his. He doesn't use it all the time. It's just sitting there."
I would let it go, chalk it up to experience and not loan it to him again, even if you have to come up with some kind of bullshit excuse but you have plenty of time to sit around and think of one.
I would be prepared to replace the plywood on the rear ramp. Once that poultry juice soaks into it, even a pressure washer wont' get it out. Once that thing sits closed up in the heat, the stench will return with a vengeance.
In the Grand Scheme Of Things, if he's been a standout guy since you've known him and this is his only intrusion on your sensibilities (although I do consider it quite rude) it's simply not worth stirring up shit over.
Like I always philosophize, "I doubt it's something I'll reflect upon when I'm lying on my Death Bed."
Not excusing his behavior, but he was hauling grills to cook turkeys at a church for Those Less Fortunate, not hauling kegs of beer to some party full of underage drinkers. That's gotta count for something......
Oh, and if I didn't say it before, don't loan it to him again. U-Haul has every reasonable rates on local trailer rentals.
I will say, though, I do understand your frustration. I've loaned movies to friends who were laid up after surgery and never gotten those movies back, given a lot of food to people who never bothered to return the dishes it was cooked in even though they obviously came straight from our kitchen, etc.
I just let it go and remind myself, "Well, at least I'm not like they are."
Quote:
Originally Posted by planalp
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If The Wives become involved, your dilemma could turn from a relatively minor matter into a Hellish Nightmare that will make you wish you'd never bought that trailer in the first place.
________________
Like I always philosophize, "I doubt it's something I'll reflect upon when I'm lying on my Death Bed."
_____________________________
I just let it go and remind myself, "Well, at least I'm not like they are."
________________
Like I always philosophize, "I doubt it's something I'll reflect upon when I'm lying on my Death Bed."
_____________________________
I just let it go and remind myself, "Well, at least I'm not like they are."
I've cooled off, thought this over, and am taking your advice.
That trailer is going to be nice when I get done with it and really clean. This will give me the excuse to diamond plate the rear ramp.
Thanks again guys.
Confidence is the feeling you have before you fully understand the situation."
Jeff in Napa California
OverDrive

Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: NW MO
Posts: 5,367
Quote:
Originally Posted by campfire
View Post
This will give me the excuse to diamond plate the rear ramp.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toney
View Post
Get a bumper sticker and read it daily: "The more people I meet, the more I like my Dog."
I really miss our rabbit.
Or in the great words of the famous theologian, Linus, "I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."
Confidence is the feeling you have before you fully understand the situation."
Jeff in Napa California
19 days and counting, still no trailer back in my yard.
Confidence is the feeling you have before you fully understand the situation."
Jeff in Napa California
OverDrive
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Lander, Wyoming
Posts: 5,754
Quote:
Originally Posted by campfire
View Post
19 days and counting, still no trailer back in my yard.
That is sad to hear.
I'll only suggest, that you drive over, hitch-up to it and take it Home!
Even If, IT is still Full of His Stuff! You have tried to be nice.
He can figure out how to transport 'His Stuff' back to his house, some how else!
Some people/friends, just need a slap along side their heads! He will get over it, if he is a Friend!
pdwestman
Modify at "YOUR OWN RISK"!
Still riding my 1987 KL650-A1. 85,000+ miles & counting
2nd Gear
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: wasilla AK but stuck in CO
Posts: 452
I always get the nice truck ,im moving can I barrow it ?
usually from same folks who give me crap for my big dodge and how good their mileage is .. then I remnd im I have enough room in the bed for their import and still get better mileage with my cummins ..
2 years ago I bought a new army 101 trailer without a dent or scratch on it ,and I lent it out to a friend who needed it to camp with his kids .. his camping ended up hauling 5, 55 gallons of fuel to hunting cabin thru the tundra .. it came back with all my lights busted off and rear dented up from dragging over the river bed crossings .. then he promised to fix it only to keep it for 4 months .. never again did I offer to help him ..still never got fixed to this day I just replaced with cheapo harbor freight lights for now .
usually from same folks who give me crap for my big dodge and how good their mileage is .. then I remnd im I have enough room in the bed for their import and still get better mileage with my cummins ..
2 years ago I bought a new army 101 trailer without a dent or scratch on it ,and I lent it out to a friend who needed it to camp with his kids .. his camping ended up hauling 5, 55 gallons of fuel to hunting cabin thru the tundra .. it came back with all my lights busted off and rear dented up from dragging over the river bed crossings .. then he promised to fix it only to keep it for 4 months .. never again did I offer to help him ..still never got fixed to this day I just replaced with cheapo harbor freight lights for now .
2000 army green klr
2012 blue/white /blacked out daily driver
recession is when your neighbor looses his job
depression is when you loose your job
recovery is when Obama looses his job
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