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A pirate ship is sailing along when the lookout up in the crow's nest yells out, "British Royal Navy vessel off the port bow!" The Captain picks up his telescope, takes a look at the ship through it and yells out, "Prepare to engage! Bring me my red shirt!"

The crew starts cheering wildly and the pirate ship steers to intercept the Navy ship. The two ships meet and a huge battle ensues with blasting cannons and muskets and hand-to-hand combat with swords.

The pirate ship defeats the Navy vessel and they plunder it and leave it adrift with what's left of the crew on board.

The pirates are all drinking, celebrating their victory and the First Mate comes up to the Captain and asks, "Tell me, Captain, why do you always call for your red shirt before we do battle?"

The Captain replies, "I wear the red shirt so if I am wounded and bleeding, the rest of the crew won't know and will continue to fight on and not worry about me." "Good thinking, Captain," replies the First Mate.

A couple of weeks later, the pirates are sailing along when the lookout in the crow's nest yells out, "Captain! Five British Naval vessels off the starboard bow, moving to intercept us!"

The Captain gets out his telescope and takes a long look at the approaching Naval vessels. He turns to the First Mate and shouts, "Bring me my brown trousers!"
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